He Speaks

A Message From the Lord

There is a lot going on in my family life right now. It is summer break for my kids, my son is visiting from his dad's for the month, my oldest daughter is off with a group from our church serving and changing the world, and I am at home worrying about everyone and everything. 

Yes, I know, worrying is a sin. Yes, I know, worrying does nothing good for me or my family and hurts my witness as a Christian. Yes, yes, yes, I know. So why am I worrying? Because God hasn't answered one of my prayer requests the way that I want Him to yet. Ha! How's that for honesty?!

I think I slept a total of maybe three hours last night. I could not turn my brain off for worrying and trying to fix things that I have no business trying to fix. I know this, but....my heart would not listen to my head. So this morning I was determined to sit down with my Bible and find whatever verse it is that I am not praying and should be praying to get God to listen to me and answer my prayer. 

Yes, I know, it doesn't work that way. Again, I am just being honest.

So I sit down and start writing my prayer in my journal and God leads me to a verse through my reading. I read the verse, recognize that I need to probably chew on that for a while, and keep going. I finish writing my prayer, finding my mood has shifted some and that once again God has had to reign me back in and remind me He is sovereign and I am not in charge but He is. 

So I go to open my email and, surprise-surprise, there is that same verse from the Proverbs 31 Ministries as the lead verse in their daily devotion. (http://www.proverbs31.org/) 

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind" (NIV). James 1:5-6

I was looking for a "magic" verse to make God listen to me and answer me, and look what He does. He, the sovereign and most Awesome creator of the Universe, gives me the verse He wants me to have. That God, He sure is something!

So yes, I am obviously lacking in wisdom. After 31 years of being a Christian God obviously had to remind me that He will answer my requests not only in His timing, but also in relation to my belief. Uhmmm, yes, there is that little issue of doubt that goes hand in hand with worrying. See if I truly had the faith I should have, then i wouldn't doubt God to act and answer concerning my prayer. 

I was then led by the spirit to go back to Romans 8 and reread verses 25-27. The Holy Spirit speaks to God on my behalf when my words just wont come. So if I will just trust in God knowing my heart, and have faith that God has a plan and will answer in His time, then my worrying should cease. 

God answered my Spirit this morning by reminding me to trust in Him, wait on Him, and to know that He does hear me and He is answering me. I just need to open my eyes, ears, and heart to His answer. 

So, if your worrying, waiting, or wondering if He is listening; please believe me when I say, He is.

Spiritual Messages in Home Improvement Shows

What I learned by watching Love it or List it

Today was not a normal day for me. I did very little today. Not because I felt bad, but because I had a serious case of "Blah". I just didn't feel like doing anything.

I sat and read for the first part of the day but then I started getting a headache and focusing on the page wasn't helping. So I snuggled down with our dog Sugar and turned on the TV. There is nothing on that interests me during the day. I settled for watching stuff on the HGTV channel because it seems to be what many of the women in my life watch (pitiful of me, I know).

So this show Love it or List it comes on and I begin to see a lesson in the episodes. To explain I need to tell you about the show. Within 30 minutes a couple's home is renovated by professionals based on the couple's wish list of changes, and at the same time they are shown by a realtor different homes based on their list of wants. In the end after they have seen the new possible homes and are revealed the changes to their existing home they must decide if they love their old house with the new changes. Or if they still want to list the house and buy one of the new ones they were shown.

I apologize if you know where I am going with this, but for those of you who don't, please stick with me. In a way, this is what happens when Christ is introduced to us. We can accept the help of experts (pastors, teachers, other believers in Christ) and go through the hard work of gutting ourselves and making hard choices and changes to become a Christian and learn to live for HIM. OR, we can keep searching for something that we think will make us happy and feel better about our lives.

Of the many shows I watched (maybe six, again, I know, pathetic), only one couple decided to list their house after the renovations and buy one that had been shown to them by a realtor. In truth, I think they only reason they made that choice is because the husband insisted on keeping something that was unrealistic about their existing home and totally ruined their budget for any other changes. So what choice did they really have after that?

But I digress. My point is that we all start with an existing foundation. For most of us this is provided by our family who raises us and guides us in our morals and forming opinions. We have free will to follow this moral foundation, or to step out onto a different foundation of our choosing as we grow in age and maturity.

So for those of us raised to know who Jesus Christ is, you would think the choice to Love and accept him or walk away from him would be obvious. But it isn't.

Not all people who are brought up going to some form of "church" stick with that choice. Many choose to change their religion or their basis for choices while separating themselves from their families and gaining their independence. The work required to be a Christian, despite the advantages, is too much and they prefer the change to what the world says is easier, better, nicer, prettier.

From my previous post I mentioned that I am uncomfortable with the book of revelations. But God, He is leading me to study it. So I started at the beginning, to hopefully grasp some understanding of the foundation of where John was coming from when he started writing. The first three verses is as far as I have gotten in comprehension and comfort in discussing. So here is what I feel God has shown me: 1)The message of Revelation is from God, passed on to Jesus, and then shared with His "bondservants".  Now the bondservants that John is referring to are the believers of Christ, not just the disciples, but anyone who is willing to give up their own will and follow Jesus. SO yeah, ANY CHRISTIAN. Which means that this Revelation was passed from God the Father to Jesus His son, and communicated by his (Jesus) angels, to the bondservant John. Which means it is for us fellow bondservants as well.

That is just verse 1 folks, but already it leaves a lasting impact on my brain and heart. I am a bondservant. I am a willing follower of Jesus and want to align my will, with his will, i.e. God's will.

2) John confirms who he is as the writer of this message by describing himself as the testifier of the word of God, and Jesus, to all he met. Now why would he do that, why would he describe himself as someone who testified God and Jesus' word. I personally think it is to remind us of how he, John, go to this point of writing down these words for God. Think about it, would you want just anyone to write down what you say? Or would you want someone who has a reputation of sharing your words accurately? Enough said.

3)Here is the swift kick in the gut for me. By this verse God convicted me of how much I have been denying myself from Him by not reading this. "Blessed is he who reads and those who hear the words of the prophecy, and heed the things which are written in it; for the time is near." The first thing that grabbed me about this verse is that I have been denying myself blessings by not studying Revelations before now. Because I was uncomfortable and focused on me, I was missing out on Blessings that God has in store for me by reading His word where He wanted me to read. The next thing that jumped at me is that I have not been hearing these words either. So, why is that? Are preachers and Christian speakers or authors intimidated by Revelations as well? Or have I been purposely been turning a deaf ear to anything regarding this section of the word? I am now praying God keeps my eyes and ears to this subject. The last part of this verse is two fold. I am to heed the things I read in Revelations and recognize that the time is near. Now, I am not saying the end of the world is near as so many people believe Revelations is talking about. Instead I believe, that right now, for me personally, God is saying that the time is near that I am going to need to know and understand this book of the Bible.

Heavy stuff, and all because I watched mindless home improvement television today. I love how God does that. I cannot say thank you to Him enough for how he draws me to Him in what other people might see as bizarre or strange ways. I'll take it Lord, and say thank you for your Awesome and Inspiring ways and pray you continue to bless me in any way you see fit.

I pray that these words may in some way speak to you, as God has spoken to me. Thanks for reading.



Blessings from the Father

The gift of words, and the fear of Revelations

 

I have been asked twice, in as many days, why I haven't updated my blog lately. Both times I have answered honestly in that I just haven't felt like it. But as I thought about it, and have prayed about it, I realized I was going by my emotions, and not by God's leading. So this morning as I prayed and read my Bible God gave me a verse to share with a friend, and some insight to share on my blog. And since I am studying to be more open to the suggestions of the Holy Spirit in my life I thought I better follow through with this.

Sometimes when reading the Bible God makes it clear to me that a verse I just read is for someone. Either I need to pray that verse for them, share it with them, or write it down and memorize it on behalf of them so that when I think of them I think of that verse. Whatever the reason, I try to be attentive to the verses God connects in my mind with someone.

Just yesterday a friend of mine asked me to pray for someone dear to them. I used to say OK to such a request, would pray one or maybe two times for that person, and then forget all about the request. But GOD, He has changed that poor habit in me. Now I find HE keeps them in my thoughts and prayers until He decides differently.

This morning as I studied for today, and for this Sunday's lesson with our youth God lead me to a verse for this dear person I am praying for. I knew, within my spirit, that I needed to share that verse with this person, and I did. And the response back was that God's words came just when they were needed and were a blessing. Hmm, imagine that! Now, I am not patting myself on the back for being obedient, because I did not make that person feel better, God did. I was just the messenger. But you know what, I was blessed by being the messenger. In turn I got to be a witness to one of God's miracles. And yes, I believe seeing God touch someone else's life is a miracle.

Now, believe it or not, that little story is not what God gave me, initially, to share on my blog. However He did allow me to use it as an introduction and segue to what he does want me to share. (It is a this point that in a movie you would have that build up of anticipatory music. the DUNT- DUNT-DUH!) 

The book of Revelations is my least favorite book of the Bible. It makes me uncomfortable. Like scary movie uncomfortable. I confess to having never read the entire book at one time, or in order. It just, it gives me the willies.

So when my studying this morning took me to Revelations I really was not pleased. I mean, I love to dig into Psalms, or the letters from Paul. But Revelations is just, ugh.

So my study took me to Revelations 12:17. As soon as I started reading it I realized I would have to go back a few verses in order to understand the context of the verse. Sometimes a spoonful just isn't enough to identify all of the flavors in the food, you know?

So I backed up to the start of chapter 12 which is entitled in the NIV as "the Woman and the Dragon". Now if I didn't know I was reading in the Bible I would think this was going to be one of those great stories or fables where a woman tricks a dragon so she doesn't get eaten. Guess what, kinda-sorta it is. Only this is the Bible, God's word, so it isn't a fable.

To GROSSLY paraphrase, there is a woman about to give birth and this seven headed red dragon appears and is just waiting for her to give birth so that it can eat the baby. Yes, not a pleasant thought I know. So the woman gives birth to a son (Jesus) and he is snatched up to heaven to God before the dragon can get his hands on him. The woman flees to the dessert to a place prepared for her by God, and then a war starts in heaven. Verse 7 says "And there was a war in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back."

It goes on to explain that the dragon is the devil and he and his angels are thrown down from heaven to the earth. I, the person who doesn't feel comfortable in reading Revelations, recommend you read chapter 12 for yourself. But the point, the thing I am getting at, is verse 17. "Then the dragon was enraged at the woman and went off to make war against the rest of her offspring-those who obey God's commandments and hold to the testimony of Jesus." SO, we who believe in Jesus are under attack, ALL THE TIME!!!

I have heard that as Christians we are at war, and at times have felt under attack, but until reading these verses, I do not think it was ever as clear to me as it is right now. The moment I gave my life to Christ, back at Easter in 1982, I became a warrior for Christ who is under attack by the devil and his minions. My six year old daughter who became a Christian earlier this year is a warrior and is under attack every second of every day now because she is a believer in Jesus Christ. WHOA! It blows my mind that my baby girl is a warrior. I can see my teenage son and daughter as warriors, but not my baby girl.

So, what am I doing to train her, to train them? How am I training myself? Am I encouraging my fellow believers? Am I strong, like iron, to help them grow stronger like iron? (Proverbs 27:17)

This glaring reminder of my duties as a Christian reminded me that blessings do not always look like blessings. They are not always answered prayers of health, wealth, or happiness. Sometimes it is the prayer to make it through the day by the desperate that is a blessing. Sometimes, when I cry out to my God in pain, it is because I have allowed my faith to weaken and am under attack. When one of my kids has a bad day, did they put on their armor, are they wielding their sword (Bible) on a daily basis? Am I encouraging them to practice with their sword, to strengthen themselves?

 

Revelations is still scary to me, and still makes me uncomfortable. But maybe that is right where God wants me, uncomfortable with what I am reading in his sword. Maybe he is ready to increase the weight of my sword (my understanding of the Bible) and I need to deal with having to learn to lift it.

So I am going to continue to study Revelations as God leads me. And I will continue to write this blog as God leads me. It may not be fun to read, or fun to write sometimes, but I will be as honest and transparent as I can because that is what God is calling me to do. Your prayers are very much appreciated.

 



Blessings in One Four Hour Visit

Me, Grandmommy, Melody, and Megan. Three generations all together for a few hours of laughter and fun! Watching my Grandmother (who turns 89 this year) laugh at my daughters was a real treat. A memory I will treasure for the rest of my life.
The trip to Texas was a Blessing from beginning to end. yes there were a few hiccups. Nothing like your six year old daughter getting car sick, or getting a speeding ticket for trying to pass a big truck going up hill! But God carried me through each and every day and each visit with my family was wonderful from beginning to end.
We played cards, we played games, we watched a little TV, we shopped, and boy oh boy did we eat! All and all it was the fellowship together that I will remember most. Watching my brothers five boys eat and talk and play. Listening to my daughters give my father a hard time and him loving every second of it. Seeing my step-mothers eyes light up while shopping with Megan. Watching my mom watch both my girls as they solved puzzles, played games, ate, and talked. Listening to my nephews sound just like the guys on Duck Dynasty with their "Nah"'s and their "Ain't nobody got time for that" comments. It truly was a fun and blessed trip. My little brother and his girlfriend got down and colored with sidewalk chalk in my fathers driveway. My stepmother mad Smores with my daughters for the first time in her life. And Megan got to meet her fairy Godmother and us girls got to watch Duck Dynasty with our favorite Aunt Paula. So many highlights. So much good food and good conversation and learning each others lives all over again.
I really do miss my family. But I really am very grateful to be right where God wants me. He has blessed us with neighbors and friends who have adopted us and become our family here. What more can a person ask for than the family God blesses them with?
Throughout the trip I struggled with health issues. There were times I did not want to take another step, get out of bed, or climb back into the car. But God, He reminded me of his sons suffering on the cross. If Jesus could go through all of that, could be beat, spit on, pushed down, whipped, bloody, starved, dehydrated, exhausted, and treated like less than a human; Who am I to complain about my physical ailments. I will move on and live the life God has blessed me with not in spite of the pain, but because of the pain. Because My Father, Who is in Heaven, knows me and every hair on my head and he loves me RIGHT WHERE I AM! He loves me in spite of MY failings. HE LOVES ME enough to DIE for me.
So, I put the next foot forward and praise HIS HOLY NAME!

As my daughter and her fellow might mite choir singers will sing in the next few weeks " Ho-Ho-Ho- Hosanna Ha-Ha-Hallelujah. He-He-He-He saved me and I've got the JOY of the LORD!"

Softball = Memories of my Dad

Answering My Mother's Question

 

My mother left me a voicemail today regarding my comment about watching softball in one of my previous posts. I enjoy watching softball because it will forever reminds me of being 6, 7, and 8 years old and watching my Daddy play softball. My Daddy was the pitcher. He played on all male teams that travelled to different areas for all day tournaments and I was THE cheerleader in the stands. It was usually cold because it was spring or fall in Texas. And since I was the baby, the little girl, and more to the point "Daddy's Girl" I sat in the stands and cheered. Every now and then I would get down from the stands and play with all the other little kids (usually boys) and my big brother. But mostly I just watched my dad.

 

He's tall, over 6 feet, and has always been pretty fit between playing softball, and golf, and having an active job. I won't say the cliched "My dad was my hero" because that is not true. However, my Daddy has always been a pretty special guy to me, as he should be. I won't pretend he and I didn't have our battles and differences, but he's my dad and I love him.

 

The timing of my mom's question is definitely a God thing. You see, Melody had to write a poem in her Reading class yesterday about a memory of her dad. Which got me to thinking about the poem I wrote to my dad when he was going through some hard times. So when I heard my mother's question in her voicemail today, I wasn't surprised.

 

Don't get me wrong, I still have my dad. He is alive and well in Texas living with his wife and a pack of weenie dogs. He is retired after working for the VA Hospital for 32 years and is an active member of a golf country club. I haven't seen him for over a year now, but in a few weeks I get to see him and the rest of my family when the girls and I go out to Texas for spring break. I am truly feeling blessed at even the prospect of seeing them all again.

 

I hear from people all the time, in our small rural county, how they cannot imagine living this far away from all of their family and not seeing them for all of the everyday life things that people do. We (my husband and I) do not have any family close by. My husband's half brother lives much further south in Florida, but he is the only one in the state. All of his family is out of state, PA, SC, OH. All of my family is in Texas with the exception of my son in GA.

 

Yes, family is important to us, but so is being faithful. See, God tells us to cleave to our spouse once we get married, and moving off and away from family can certainly help to ensure that you cleave. Boy Howdy! You either cleave or want to leave and leaving was not and is not an option for us.

 

Thankfully, God has blessed my husband with a good job, and he is able to provide for our family. In this case, he is able to provide me and the girls the opportunity to drive out to Texas and see my family. So, very soon, I get to add to my memories of nephews, siblings, and parents. More Daddy memories, Yeah!

 



Stepping Out in Faith

Ready to Try Something New

 

All kinds of interesting things are happening in my little area of the world right now. My daughter has a boyfriend so she is trying to spend time with him wherever and whenever possible. This is a hard thing to do when your 14 and 15 and can't drive on your own yet.

 

Then there is the youngest who keeps fighting allergies and random fevers and just generally feeling yucky. She seems to fall back and forth between being and angel and being some mischievous bratty child who I don't recognize. I find myself praying each morning she is waking up on the "Good" side of the bed for the day.

 

And now, I get to go and pick up one of those breathing masks to sleep in for people with sleep apnea. I slept one night with it during the study and had FANTASTIC sleep. I am hoping by having it at home that great sleep will continue. So, new sleep is on the way.

 

And then today I registered for a Bible study that I believe God has been encouraging me to participate in.  <div style="height: 125px; width: 125px;"><a href="http://www.incourage.me/inrl"><img src="http://www.incourage.me/images/inRL2013.gif" border="0"></a></div>

 

This is the link for the (in)RL event. If that one doesn't work try this one: http://www.incourage.me/inrl-about

Either way please take a moment and check out this opportunity to grow in your walk with the Lord. I am looking forward to the blessings that will come from being obedient, His knowledge and wisdom.

 

So think about it. Maybe god is calling you to step out of your comfort zone and try something new as well.



My Cup Runeth Over

Sunday Blessings run into Monday

I am fortunate to be allowed to co-teach a Sunday School class at my church. The youth who come to class range in age of 6th grade to 12th grade. Right now we are in a rebuilding stage, so we don't have alot of kids show up each Sunday, but the ones we do have give me a hard time at keeping ahead of their thinking, and they ask Great questions.

Since I get to co-teach, I try to read the lesson each day to make sure it stays fresh in my mind and to make sure I hear what God wants me to share with the kids. So Saturday morning after dropping off Melody at the school for her to ride a bus to State FCCLA competion in Orlando, I was caught off gaurd by my 6 year old, Megan, talking about being a Christian and how Christians should behave. She was volunteering to help me and while sweeping she and I discussed what it means to be a Christian. She specifically told me she wasn't ready yet, but that when she was she would tell me.

So imagine my surprise when after Sunday School she looks at me and says "Ok momma, I'm ready to be a Christian". She was ready, but I wasn't! So I took her to our pastors wife and asked her to lead her in prayer and ask her a few questions. I wanted to make sure this is what Megan and God wanted, and not what Megan wanted to do for her Mommy. Right after the prayer Melody called and Megan got to tell her big sister she was a Christian. Melody was so excited for her, but dissapointed to have missed it.

Sunday night we called Mercer, my 17 year old who lives with his dad in GA, and he was just as thrilled for his little sister. We had a nice long talk on the phone, he and I, and it was the best conversation we have had on the phone in a while.

Then Monday morning I am sitting in a classroom substituting for a middle school Science teacher when my phone rings. Normally I silence it, but this morning I had forgotten. Imagine my surprise when it is my Melody calling to say they took 1st place in their event at State and now we are going to the National FCCLA convention this summer in July. WOW! Three GREAT BIG BLESSINGS in under 24 hours! My heart was so full at that exact moment I felt like I was floating.

I am truly a favored woman in the eyes of the Lord to have three healthy, intelligent, thriving children who all love the Lord and are chosing to live their lives for Him. What more could any mom truly want?

My little concerns and worries amount to less than a grain of sand when held up to the light that is His Love in them! Thank you Lord, Thank you!

Saturday Surprises

From Beginning to End

 

I had to have Melody at the school by 6:45 am to board the bus to leave for Orlando. She is 14, a freshman in High School, and this is not the first, or even the tenth time that she has had to leave me for more than a few days. But for some reason I cried when she got on the bus and I sat in my car, watching them prepare to leave. For some reason my momma's heart was distressed over the idea of her being gone for the next four days. Surprise!

 

So what did I do, I prayed. Wiped the tears away and lifted up my daughter and all those going on this trip to the Lord who blessed me with her and them in this life we live together. He quickly flooded me with His affirmation and His love and grace by reminding me that of teachers/staff going ALL of them are Christian mommas I have talked with, prayed with, and know my daughter can receive strong God filled advice from. And of the other chaperone's I know at least two of them are also strong God loving Spirit filled women who love the Lord and are raising their children to love the Lord as well. So, really, why be upset when He has her surrounded with at least 6 women she can turn to for prayer? He has this covered. Surprise!

 

On the way home I prayed about the day. That God would lead me to take care of the things He wanted done for the day and that I would be able to check my human nature at the door and instead show His spirit filled nature to my husband and baby girl. I found my self cleaning the bathroom, scrubbing light switches and door knobs, taking care of laundry, and then my six year old decided she wanted to come and help me in what I can only assume looked like me moving from one random task to another.

 

"Momma, I want to help. What I can I do?" Me thinking quickly, not much your only six, what can I give you to do? Hmmm.... "I need to sweep this floor, can you hold the dust pan while I sweep?" With the excitement that only a young child who is still new to household chores can show, she grabbed the broom and dustpan and started helping me. I tell her thank you for offering to help and she tells me she wants to be good for us today. She says she wants to act like a Christian is supposed to act. I asked her what it meant to be a Christian and she gave me this answer "You love God, believe in His son Jesus, and you do the right thing. Oh, and you never die." I said "You mean, you live eternally?" To see if this is what she meant. She quickly jumps on the word and then starts asking me questions and our discussion goes round and round about what being a Christian really means, how one becomes a Christian, and if she is one. She understands she has to ask for Christ/the Holy Spirit, to come into her heart. She understands that becoming a Christian means living your life for GOD, and not yourself. She says she understands, and I believe her. She also said that she isn't ready to pray that prayer yet. I asked her to please let me know when she is, and she assures me she will. Surprise!

 

I grew up knowing that my Great Grandfather had prayed for me because my mom made sure to tell my brother and I that he would walk around the table and pray for the generations to come in our family. My mother prayed, still prays, for her Grandchildren on a daily basis. For their salvation, their future spouses salvation, and for the salvation of her great grandchildren. Is that what is wrong with our world today? God's people quit praying and thinking about the future generations of believers?

In this tradition of prayer for the future, I will stand. I will prayerfully, faithfully, and gracefully washed by His blood-stand in that gap for the family that is to come. Not just my sons and daughters, my nephews sons and daughters, but for each person God calls to mind and tells me to pray for. What surprises does The Lord Our God have in store for us if we would just pray for our future generations?



A night at the ball field

Ahh, Young Love!

Whoever first thought a silly groundhog could predict the weather must have been smoking peyote with their friendly local native Americans. It was pretty last night, but it was COLD! 

I enjoy watching middle school and high school baseball. The boys give it their all and learn about life while playing. Not that I don't enjoy watching the girls play softball too, but I watch softball for a different reason. And that is a story for another day.

Back to baseball. Last night, sitting in the bleachers all bundled up, listening to kids run and play and watching teenagers talk to their friends and flirt I was reminded of how we learn about love. Now stay with me on this one, I promise it will make sense in a minute. 

Our first concept of love comes from our parents. If we are fortunate we have have parents who love us unconditionally and show us their love when we are both good and bad. For those who are unfortunate, we learn how much we want/need love and we decide how/what we will do to pursue it and recieve it. 

Nothing about the way we view love really changes until we hit puberty and all of the sudden we decide that becuase we think about this certain guy (or girl) all the time we must be "in love" with them. And in some very real ways that is true. 

Doesn't the Bible say that what we set our focus on is what we desire with our heart? So if we are thinking about that certain someone all through out the day, we must feel something for them, right?

Then the expression of love comes into play. Looks, smiles, kind words, simple touches.....all of these things bring us closer to that other person. 

Watching teenagers paw at each other at the ball field last night I flipped it right back to falling in love with Christ. Just think about it. When we are introduced to him our initial understanding is denial. No way could he really have exhisted. No way did he really die for me. I've done some really bad things, said some really bad things, hurt some people who didn't deserve it....you get what I'm saying? That denial then starts to lessen as we learn more about who Jesus hung out with. Murderers, harlots, thieves, politicians, not what we would classify as "good people". But he loved them, and he died for them too. So if he could love them and die for them, why can't I believe he died for me too?

That is when the young love we feel for Jesus turns into the teenage love that we see displayed at ball parks across the US. We paw at God's word hoping for kind words and love and affection back. We study with friends and worship with friends because of how HE makes us feel while we are doing it. (Sound familiar?) Then all of the sudden something goes wrong and we get angry with God that this happend. Our first fight. We either forgive and accept that our ways and our concepts of what God should and should not do are not His ways, or we break up with Him and turn away from His love. 

Any of this ringing a bell yet? I looked at those young people in love and I remembered the excitement of the first time a guy held my hand, or my first kiss, my first slow dance. It was like recognizing the electricity in my body. And that same AWE inspiring feeling is how we feel when we are saved and On Fire for God. So what happens to that feeling? Why do we lose it? 

I think it is just like with any long term relationship, friendship, boyfirend/girlfirend, marriage. We get comfortable. We grow complacent. We let the fire die down to embers and keep it safe and warm. 

I don't know about you all, but I miss the on fire part. I miss the electricity of that look across the room, or the caress of hand against hand. I want that back in my walk with Christ. I want to be On Fire for Him. Not becuase of how it makes me feel, but becuase of WHO it makes me for HIM. The look from Him is recognizaeble in other people's faces when they see grace or kindness they feel they do not deserve. The caress of love comes from someone who gives to me, when I feel undesrving or weak. All of these things are there, right there with us everyday. We just have to open ourselves up and see them, hear them, touch them, smell them, taste them. Jesus, my savior, my redeemer, my best friend, the lover of my soul, is with me right now in each stroke of these keys loving me and carrying me and holding me like the precious and wonderful thing He sees me for. How can I NOT be on fire for that?

Ahh, young love.... His love is timeless and Never Fails. 

Where Have I Been???

First, an explanation. I started this whole blog thing at the suggestion of a writer. Someone who's blog I follow on an almost daily basis. I don't want to name any names, but she is a published author and she does spearhead a women's ministry and write Bible studies. Oh, I don't know her personally or anything, but I do believe she gives good Godly advice.

She suggested that if you are serious about wanting to write or speak, it might be a good idea to start a blog and see if there is anyone out there interested in what you have to say. So I started, what do I have to lose? Besides, who better to learn from than someone who has been there and done that?

So where have I been since my last post? Well, I've been doing the life thing. I quit blogging because I felt as though I had nothing to contribute. And truthfully, who wants to read about my boring life anyway? And then there were health issues, new job positions, more health issues, family issues, changing job issues, and more health issues. Yeah, I have alot of issues. Bottom line, blogging got lost in the shuffle and got sifted down like sand in a container of rocks.

But God has been changing my focus recently, and He has been steering me toward more things ( music, reading, people) about Him, and who worship Him, give glory to Him. So as I read a few other Christian blogs today I realized He has been pushing me back to this. To blogging, or more specifically, to writing about His work in the life He has blessed me with.

Today I was supposed to be substituting in a High School Health/PE class. But Megan said she wasn't feeling well and when I first checked her temperature it was high. So I called the school and said they would have to find another substitute. Then as I sat with my little girl I realized this is the third week in a row that she has had at least one day where she was running a low grade fever and felt puny at the start of the day, but then got better as the day went on. So I asked my husband what he thought. And as I am asking him what he thinks I am remembering when she was little and first started teething and did the same thing. He says, it's like when she was teething only now her teeth are moving around and she is probably getting ready to lose her first tooth soon.

Now, let me explain something to you in case you don't already know it. That right there was a gift from God. That was no coincidence. That was no fluke. That was God bringing my husband and I to be LIKE-MINDED. It happens often in Christian marriages because one or the other partner has been praying they be like minded in Christ. And guess what? That is a simple yet miraculous example of it!

So my 6 year old went to school and I ended up with a free day to wash Melody's laundry before her trip to Orlando this weekend for state FCCLA competition and then to run to the Library to pick up some more Christian fiction. I say some more because that is where my subject area of reading so far this year. I used to dislike, STRONGLY, Christian Fiction. But now, God is changing me and my likes.

So, where have I been and why am I writing again. Let's just say I've been out of touch with my farming side for a little while, letting the field grow dormant for a year. But now I'm back and loaded up and ready to plant, and sow, and weed, and hopefully, just maybe, haul in a harvest. God loves me. He is pulling me back to something He wants me to do and has designed me to enjoy. So why not pull my boots on and enjoy it?