Last night I met with a friend of mine regarding an upcoming women's retreat. The whole them revolves around John 6:35 "I am the bread of life". We went over what we need as far as physical items but I woke up this morning thinking of what we will need spiritually. the reason for this thinking is spirit lead, I have no doubt of that. I think the reason the spirit is leading me down this path is because of the opportunity this weekend will be for God to completely changes some of these ladies lives, me included.
I have been struggling a great deal lately. My attitude, my opinions, my focus- they have all been too focused on me and my problems and not focused enough of the Lord and the problems he provides for me to do His work. So I am having to relearn to wait, ask the Lord for His desires in the situation, and sometimes do nothing until He speaks to me. This can be a true test for me at times because I really want to react. But when I actually wait for God to tell me what to do, the problem is settled. Not always solved mind you, but settled. With that settling comes a sense of peace. That peace is a sensation I am learning to savor. Now. I do not ever use the word savor for anything, except chocolate. Or maybe the Mary Chef's cooking. I think that in truth those are the only two occasions I can think of when I have thought of the word savor much less used it. BUT with this new peace God gives to me I am learning to savor the feeling. I know I am not supposed to revel in it or rest on those laurels. I get that. However, I really would like to enjoy the peace to the fullest extent the Lord will allow.
Do you ever find yourself savoring something God has shared with you? Maybe through his word, maybe through your family? Today I learned once again that God's timing is perfect. Now I have learned that before and I am sure that I will have to learn it again, but it sure is nice when He reminds you.
I am still struggling, today was better in some ways than others, but still a struggle. I am in the place right now where I am paying to price for poor decisions. I have to take this penalty time, as it is, and learn from it. So if you read this and you happen to pray for me, please pray that I will hear God and His wisdom and learn from this time in the penalty box. Not just so I don't repeat my mistakes, but also so the person who played the part of referee and placed me in the box will see and hear when it is time to let me out.
In His Love,
Manda
