Monday, May 30, 2011

Almost there....

I sometimes think what I have to say and what I need to say are two very different things. I need to tell me children how proud I am of them. I need to tell my husband how very much in love I am with him and how grateful I am to bee his wife. I need to, well I need to say a lot of loving and supporting things to the people in my life that I just don't say often enough. But, what I end up saying is less loving, not as kind, not as charitable or positive as it could be. Each time I think I'm almost there with a phase God is bringing me through I get reminded of how much further I truly have to go.
I finished my very last class on May 23rd and am going on June 4th to walk across a stage with a bunch of people I don't know to recieve an empty form that will eventually hold my diploma. I am thrilled, and excited, and pleased, and proud, and am still only "almost there".
I interviewed for a good job, with a good company, twice in as many weeks and they have yet to make a decision. So even with a Bachelors degree, my career path is "almost there".
My quiet time with the Lord becomes all too often just that, my time. Instead of listening to His spirit speak to me I find I am talking and listing and looking, it becomes my time and not His time.
I am reminded today, with it being Memorial Day, just how grateful I should be each time I think almost there, and then realize I am not. Because the truth is each time I think I am almost there, I am free to see how far God has brought me and free to pursue the paths God has provided for me. My almost there thoughts for today are those of a grateful heart for the men and women who serve and protect this Great Nation. May God Bless you all.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Trust and Faith, what's the difference

Last Saturday my oldest daughter did something I have never done. She competed in a pageant. Before you judge me as a mom for having her in this pageant, please allow me to explain. You see, I opened my mouth without much thought or prayer regarding the situation. I did not seek God's will before I offered this opportunity and experience to my daughter. I did not ask my husband, the spiritual head of our home for his opinion on the matter. Instead I just said "what do you think?" and she said "sure, I'll give it a try. It might be fun".
When I brought the idea to my husband he was less than pleased. Not that she wanted to do it, but that I had not cleared it with him first and that it was going to cost us more than we really had to spend. However, God's perfect timing stepped in and where things should have been tight, they weren't.
My totally tomboy, non-dress wearing daughter all of the sudden had to learn to walk in heals, keep her shoulders back, maintain eye contact, and smile. She's a pretty girl, and I am not just saying that because I am her momma. She's also smart, funny, opinionated, and willing to stand up for herself or others when she feels something is not right. She went into the situation hoping to have fun and learn a few new things, and she did.
No, I am not going to say that she won, because it was her first pageant and no, she didn't win. However, she felt proud of herself when it was all said and done and that is what really matters. She also had a good time and her friends at school learned to see her in a different light. Not bad, not bad at all.
The best part though, was that God gave us a verse for that day. Psalms 20:7 "Some may trust in horses, others in chariots, but we will trust in the name of the Lord our God". That may not be exactly right, but it is how I have it memorized. She and I said it to one another throughout the day each time one or the other of us got nervous. The purpose of God's words was to remind us not to trust in her abilitites, but in God's light to shine through her. And he did!
The sweetest thing though, was to wake up Monday morning and find a note on the kitchen table from my daughter with that verse written in it and her telling me she hadn't forgotten it. She was reminding me that the verse was not just for that day, that event. She already knew that verse was going to apply to every part of her life for the rest of her life. WOW! What an amazing God to teach my twelve year old something I still forget!
So Monday night she and I had this conversation about trust and faith, and what the difference is. And yes, I do believe there is a difference. The key reason I beleive there is a difference is because you can lose your trust for someone, but still have faith in them as a person. With God, you either trust His plans for you or you don't, but that does not mean that you have lost faith in Him as your Lord and savior. I hope that makes sense to someone else out there, because it makes a great deal of sense to me.
Right now, this day, I can say that I trust God and have faith in His perfect plan for my life. His timing is perfect, its my timing that is imperfect.