Saturday bules

So I haven't blogged in a while because I have been so darn busy. When I sit down at my computer now it is to check email and work on school assignments. I don't even bother with Facebook anymore unless my mother mentions something going on with my Big brother and his boys. To be honest I have not missed it much. I miss having more free time, but not computer time. Which may have you wondering why in the world I am taking this free time and using it to write in my blog, well, I will tell you dear friends (since no one reads this that is written with sarcastic irony).
I am writing in this blog today because it is thereaputic. You see, I worked as a substitue for the first time two weeks ago and ended up working the entire week. That was a great expereince, but exhausting. Then Saturday I was blessed with the opportunity to watch Beth Moore in a Simulcast where she spoke to those of us watching about what we say when we "openeth our mouth". Probers 31:26 "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the Law of Kindness is on her tongue and lips". So I have been convicted of what I say, to whom, and how.
Then this past week I substitued on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I had the opportunity for Monday and Friday as well, but I couldn't becuase Meg had a doctors appointment and Wednesday I felt pretty crummy. Which is just one more side affect of having a body that is in a constant state of rebellion against what my mind, heart, and soul would like to feel like.
Then there is today, this Saturday. Today I went to a friends house becuase she was hosting a sales party. She is trying to sell a product, get her own business started, and invited me and many other ladies to join her if we were interested. And on my way over to her home I had the thought that once again I had been invited to and was going to a function where someone was selling something. From there my brain kicked into the phone calls and texts that I had received all week and I realized that with the exception of two people, no one that I consider a friend had reached out to contact me this week. Now, from there I bakctracked to the week before and it was even worse. No one had reached out to me without me reaching out to them first.
So this of course spiralled into all kinds of negative thoughts about myself and the kind of person and friend I must be if I have no friends who choose to reach out to me without wanting something. But then, YES dear friends there is a moral to this pitty party. I promise I am GETTING there. Then I heard the music coming from the CD on the truck stereo. Mandisa had started over and was back to song one. "My Deliverer" was playing and I realized that I was not giving God the glory through any of my thoughts. Not even a little. So I sang along for a few words and then I prayed. I asked God to forgive me and my spirit of selfishness and to please deliver me from the negative thoughts that were swimming in my brain. Becuase the truth is that I was no longer trying to stay afloat in them, I was simply sinking and had given up!
Before anyone asks, yes I took my medicine this morning. But I do not think that even the great Cymbalta can keep up with emotional, mental, and spiritual warfare and come out the winner. Only the sweet and wonderful Lord of our Universe can garauntee a VICTORY! And He did deliver me!
So I went into my friends party and came out with a few more ideas and a receipt for products that I hope will help me be a bit more physically appealing to my husband. After all, my children do not care if I have crows feet around my eyes, now do they?
SO, once again God receives the Glory for loving me and saving me and Delivering me from myself. Thank you Jesus for not letting go even when I do. Please Lord, Please continue to reach out and touch those lives that I lift up to you each day for your healing and your peace including myself. I love you Lord. Thank you for loving me and for saving me with your son Jesus. AMEN!